What Does Life Mean Anyway?
by Gandalf3213
Summary: A shootout at the school kills twelve children. Another sixteen are wounded. How do you pick up the peices? How do you move on?
1. It Begins

**I don't own Suite Life**

Cody ran to catch up with Zack, who was already half way down the hall. "Hey, Zack! Wait up!"

Zack punched the button for the elevator, he turned to Cody and smiled. Cody backed up, wishing that he had more time so that he could run down the stairs instead of taking the elevator. Because he knew that grin. It meant that Zack was going to-

Cody gasped for breath, unable to pull out of Zack's embrace. He felt his lungs screaming for air, but couldn't breathe. He didn't even realize it either. "Z-Zack! St-stop tickling m-me!"

Zack paid no attention to his brother's pleas. He kept tickling him and Cody kept laughing until the elevator came. "Man, you are just too easy a target." Cody grinned wolfishly at Cody, pushing the button for the elevator. Cody sank to the floor of the elevator gasping for breath.

Because it was so early-only seven in the morning-none of the guests were awake yet. Which meant that the ride to the bottom floor was uninterrupted. "You know," Cody complained as they walked out of the building, "For once-just once-you didn't have to tickle me."

Zack shrugged and punched his brother's shoulder affectionately. "You know you like it." He rubbed his shoulder and scowled at Cody when his brother punched him back.

On the walk to school, the Martins' were joined by Tapeworm, who tripped over his own feet three times while trying to cross a single street-a new record. Two boys, new kids that lived three blocks from school, also shyly joined the group.

"Hey, you guys in the eighth grade?" Cody asked, trying to be polite.

The taller boy, who had introduced himself as Joe, nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I am. But Jake-"here he laid one of his brown hands on his brother's shoulder, "Is in seventh."

Cody nodded, and continued talking to Joe, finding out that they both had the same homeroom teacher. Jake engaged Zack and Tapeworm in a conversation about basketball. By the time they reached the school, all five kids were laughing like old friends.

Cody helped Joe get situated with the school, and showed Jake where his classroom would be.

In homeroom, Zack and Cody were whispering to Joe in the back of the classroom, talking about everything. All three were startled when the bell rang, signaling the "official" start of the day.

Zack and Cody, who both had a locker near Joe's walked him to it. Joe yawned mid-sentence and smiled apologetically. "Sorry, my old school started much later then this. I am so tired."

Zack nodded, "Yeah, I know. It gets better after a while, don't worry."

Just as the boys were taking their books out of the locker for first period, screams echoed down the hall. Their heads shot up as one, looking in the direction of the screams.

"Wha-" before the word was even out of Zack's mouth, a gun shot echoed down the hall.

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	2. Run!

**I own nothing**

Zack looked up as a second gunshot went off. He slammed his locker shut and tugged at Cody's arm, urging him to move. They needed to get out of there. Now. Cody was looking at Joe, and both boys were standing still.

"Move!" Zack shouted, flinching as he heard more screams, though, luckily, not another shot.

Joe looked weird, like he'd just remembered something important. "Jake...Jake's classroom is down there." Joe started running.

Towards the gunshots.

And Cody ran after him.

"Cody!" Zack screamed, he couldn't believe what he was seeing-he couldn't believe what he was _doing_. His legs seemed to be moving by themselves. He was running after Cody, towards the screams, the gunshots, and a maniac with a gun.

Zack tore down the halls, expecting to catch up with Cody in a matter if seconds, However, fear and purpose seemed to have fueled his brother, and he always remained just out of reach.

He was also weaving in and out of frightened students and teachers, who were heading away from the shots. Zack saw Cody again, and a fleeting glimpse of Joe's black body. "Cody! Joe!" he shouted, ducking under a flailing arm of a panicked student.

Another gunshot went off, and everybody around Zack screamed. It took a second before Zack realized he was one of the people screaming. But he kept going forward. He needed to get to Cody.

They turned a corner, and this hall was filled with less people, however, the air seemed to be electrically charged. These kids were terrified for their lives.

And with good reason. Zack caught a glimpse of red down he hall. A lot of red. Blood. He grabbed Cody's arm. "Come on!" he shouted to Jake, and started pulling his brother away from the guns.

But Cody struggled, looking over his shoulder to Joe. Zack wanted to yell at him, to tell him that they needed to get out of here. But it was no use; he knew that Cody was going to help Joe find Jake.

And there was no way he was leaving this school without him.

He glanced among the smaller crowd and pointed to a boy, "There!" he shouted at Joe. It had to be Jake. He needed it to be Jake, that way they could keep moving and get the heck out of here.

But just as Joe was rushing forward, scooping his brother up in his arms, another gunshot went off, and more screams. Zack looked up, then turned away. A kid, maybe a sixth-grader, was lying on the ground in a small puddle of blood that was growing bigger.

And her killers were standing over her. Two boys with sickeningly sweet smiles on their faces.

* * *

Maddie brushed a piece of hair away from her face and started to leave the hotel. She had a shift before school, since her classes didn't start until nine. She glanced at the TV towards the side of the lobby and froze mid-step.

It was reporting a shoot-out, at Boston Junior High. She looked around wildly, looking for someone who could give her confirmation that that wasn't—

"Mr. Moseby!" she shouted, spotting the man from across the lobby. Mr Moseby rushed over to her, shushing her along the way. "What school do Zack and Cody go to?" Maddie asked hurriedly.

Mr. Moseby sighed. "I think Boston Junior High. Why?" he asked suspiciously.

Maddie pointed wordlessly at the screen, watching Mr. Moseby's face drain of color. "Oh no," he murmured. "Oh, the poor boys." He looked at her, "Maddie, will you please tell their mother?"

Maddie nodded and rushed to the elevator, praying for Zack, Cody, and all the other kids that went to that damned school.

* * *

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	3. Shots Fired

Zack instinctively grabbed for Cody and saw out of the corner of his eye Joe reaching for Jake. The boys along with seven other students occupied the hallway. Two of the students were pointing guns at the others.

Zack despretly glanced around for a way out. He could feel Cody shaking with fear. Or was that him? Withen two seconds he realized that his effort was futile. Whoever had made it out of the building had sealed off the emergency exit doors, leaving the students who hadn't gotten out trapped.

The boys holding the guns were talking now, and their low threats were what brought Zack out of his panicked state. He reconized the boys as ninth graders, but other then that, he knew nothing about them.

"We don't want to kill you-" one boy began. The other snickered. "Fine, so we do." the first boy continued. "But you know, this can be quick and painless, or slow and painful, which would you rather?"

A small scream came from Zack's right. A girl, actually quite a pretty girl, as Zack would have noticed at any other time, had let out the terrified noise. One shot through the heart silenced the rest of it.

From then on, it was total chaos.

Jake, Joe's little brother, broke out of Joe's grasp and started running. One of the boys lifted a gun and started to fire just as Joe threw himself at his brother. Two cries of pain were issued a second later. One bullet had felled two victims.

Cody squirmed in Zack's arms, and Zack despretly tried to keep his brother still, aware of the gazed of one of the boys. If Cody would only stop moving-

BANG. Two shots fired at once. One aimed at Cody, the other at a boy near Zack's left elbow. Zack turned, trying to absorb the impact of the bullet into himself. He felt the small piece of metal tear through his side and keep going. His scream mingled with that of his brother.

And then the world turned black, and all Zack knew was silence.

* * *

Maddie, London, Mr. Moesby, and Carrie ran up to the side of the building where the children who had espaced were being kept. They were met with confusion, panic, and fear. But no Zack.

No Cody.

"Their not here!" Corrie groped at Maddie, her arms flailing wildly. London, who had grasped the situation amazingly quickly for her standerds, called a teacher over to them.

"Are these all the children?" London and Mr. Moesby asked at once. The teacher nodded, her body shaking with surpressed sobs.

"Are there any others? In the school, maybe?" Maddie managed to get the words out even through the strangle hold Carrie had on her neck. Again, the teacher nodded.

Carrie sagged, her entire body going limp. "Oh, my babies." she said softly. "My poor baby boys." Mr. Moesby put a comforting hand on Carrie's shoulder, and was about to say something when two shots rang out in rapid succession.

Carrie dipped into a dead faint. Mr. Moesby nor either of the girls blamed her in the least.

* * *

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	4. A Boy he Barely Knew

**I don't own anything**

Zack blinked. He was so glad that he could blink! What kind of day had he had that he was glad that he could blink?

He also knew...somehow...that this wasn't the first time he had woken up. It was the first time he was aware that he was awake, though. And the first time he wasn't in surgery. And the first time he wanted to see Cody.

"Zack! Carrie, he's awake! Zack can you hear me?" he knew that voice...Maddie?

A hand was gripping his, and he squeezed it as hard as he could, which wasn't very hard. He heard another person enter the room. "Zack!" another hand was on his arm.

"M-mom?" he heard excited mutterings and a tear-strained voice reply, "Yeah, baby. I'm here."

He tried again. "Mom...C-Cody?" he heard more mutterings, these not so excited. Then the hand that had been squeezing his own was gone. Maddie left.

"Honey, do you remember what happened in there? You know that you got shot, and it went through you and into Cody?" Zack nodded, he remembered. He wanted to know about Cody. Even if he was-

"D-dead?" Zack croaked, feeling tears start in his eyes at the thought. Arms went around his shoulders.

"Oh, honey, no! Cody's not dead. He's hurt though. And he hasn't woken up yet. He lost a lot of blood. Apparently, the bullet hit an artery...do you understand?" Zack nodded again, he understood...

And an immense weight seemed to leave his shoulders. Cody was alive! They had escaped a bullet. He was chilled at the thought of how close they had come to death, though. And he had one more question. "J-Joe?"

His mother seemed to not want to talk to him about whatever had happened. "Joe? The black boy who was in there with you?" Zack nodded, wondering when his voice would be back to normal. "He's...he's fine. He's at the hospital, too."

She was holding something back. He could feel it. All Zack could do was wait for her to continue, really, really wishing Cody was here. Cody would know what to say.

"The bigger one's fine. The smaller one...his brother? Zack, I'm so sorry, I wish I didn't have to-"

Zack moved his hand so that it was covering hers. The amount of strength he had to use to move that one body part astounded him. And scared him. A lot. "W-want to kn-know."

Carrie was blinking back tears. "The smaller one, Jake, he's dead."

Zack didn't bother trying to hold it back. He hadn't known Jake all that well, but he wasn't crying for him. He was crying for Joe. Because he'd lost his little brother. Zack didn't know what he'd do if he lost Cody. All he knew was that he'd lose himself.

Zack was still crying when his mother left an hour later, promising to be back the next day. He didn't know if he'd ever stop. He didn't know if he'd want to stop.

* * *

**Can you say de-press-ing?**

Can you say truth? This can really happen, anywhere.

Yeah, I know...review, peoples, okay?


	5. Just Names

**I own it not**

Zack stayed at the hospital for five days. In that time, he wandered around his ward with Joe, who had to use a wheelchair. Joe had been shot in the leg, but he was expected to walk again, in time. Until then, the chair was a precaution.

Zack visited Cody as often as he could, and was happy to see his brother up and talking most of the time. Zack couldn't find very many things to be happy about recently. The only thing Cody couldn't do was get out of bed, at least not for a couple of days.

Zack and Joe were in each others company almost 24/7. They were in the same room, too. Joe didn't talk much, and more then a couple times, he had just burst into tears. Zack didn't blame him one bit.

There were other kids in the hospital that had been in the school that day. Even though Zack avoided the topic as much as he could, he couldn't help hearing the startling and terrible statistics from Maddie when she visited.

"Twelve kids are dead, Zack. You are so lucky that you're not one of them, and we're even luckier that Cody wasn't. Look at poor Joe..." here she stopped and swiped at her face impatiently. Maddie had promised herself that she wouldn't be depressing.

"And sixteen kids got shot, but not killed. Sixteen!" Maddie shuddered at the thought of a crazy kid coming to _her_ school. Granted, they probably wouldn't get passed the nuns...

Cody propped himself up with an elbow. They were in his room, so that Maddie would only have to give the news once. "And did they catch the murderers?" he asked, his voice like ice.

Maddie nodded, "Yeah, they're in custody now. The police are waiting until most of the kids have recuperated until the trail..." Maddie paused, thinking about what she should say next.

"They cancelled school until the funerals, which are next week. But I'm sure you already knew that." Zack and Cody nodded. Joe had told them about it, and asked if they would come, to help him say good-bye. They said they would, of course.

Cody stifled a yawn. He couldn't seem to keep awake. Plus, he was hungry, but the doctors had forbidden him from any real food. He got to eat out of an IV.

Zack, seeing his brother was tired, stood up. He kissed his brother on the top of his head, something he would have never done before the shootout. But now he knew that life was too short not to show you cared about people. Look at Jake, and all those other poor kids that had died.

Back in his room, Zack went over the names. He had memorized, with the help of Cody and Joe, the name of every kid that died. He never wanted anyone to forget what happened. _He_ never would forget, he knew that much. He went over the names:

Jake, Daniel, Cassie, Corey, Max, (not his friend, thank God) Kelly, John, Lauren, Kyle, Isaiah, Rachel, Dave. All were dead. None were more then fourteen.

He also knew everything he could about them.Daniel was a sports star...John was a math geek...Rachel was supposed to be graduating second in her class...

On and on, lists of facts, memorized perfectly. Zack felt that it was something he had had to do. He needed to remember...he needed the deaths to mean something.

Zack laid back into the thin pillow, wondering for the billionth time how horrible a person would have to feel to take somebody's life. And how terrible they must be to take twelve.

* * *

I took the kid's names (all except Jake) from the kids that died at Columbine. It can be like, a memorial. 

These things happen, guys. All the time, and that is really sad.

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	6. Home Again

**I own nothing**

Cody looked up at Maddie and smiled, pleased to see that she smiled back. He was finally, _finally_ getting released from the hospital. Next to him, Zack was being pushed by their mother (the hospital had insisted on wheelchairs, though both could walk normally).

Every minute or so, she'd push his hair back. Surprisingly, Zack didn't object. Next to them, Joe was limping out on a pair of crutches, accompanied by his mother.

Cody couldn't believe he was getting out of there. He wanted to go home, of course. He missed being in his room. He missed sharing it with Zack. He missed seeing his friends (Bob, Max, Tapeworm, and Warren had visited them at the hospital, but it wasn't the same)

One bad, horrible, terrible thing about going home is that in a couple of days he'd be going back to school. Cody didn't think he'd be able to do that. He didn't think Zack would be able to do that, or Joe, or Mackenzie, the girl who had gotten hit by a stray bullet, or any of the other kids, whether they were hit or not.

Because kids had **died** in that school.

In the car, Zack and Cody sat in the back, Cody's head resting against Zack's chest. They had done this so many times in the past couple of days that it was the most comfortable position for them to be in, because they could hear each other's heart beating.

Zack and Cody stepped out of the car and into the hotel, walking slowly and with their arms around each other. Mr. Moesby greeted them warmly, glancing quickly from one to the other, checking them over until he was sure that neither were injured too badly.

Arwin stood up as they walked past, his hands full of tools, as he had just finished fixing a bug in the elevator. For once, he wasn't smiling or bouncing. The fact that children were dead, and that Zack had Cody had come _this close_ to being one of them had taken away his sunny demeanor and replaced it with an older Arwin. Carrie frowned as she walked past him and shook her head.

London met Maddie at the candy counter, for once not saying a word. Even she understood what twelve kids dead meant. The two girls looked at each other for a couple of seconds before silent tears began to flow down their cheeks. Neither of them knew why they were crying.

Cody noted as he stepped into the elevator that the rest of the lobby was just the same as ever, with guest coming in and checking out, not knowing (or not caring) that children had just been murdered mere blocks from where they now stood.

The twins found Max and Bob waiting for them once they got upstairs. They were sitting on the couch, talking quietly. When Zack and Cody walked in, Bob smiled at them and Max hugged them, kissing them both on the cheek.

They all sat on the couch, Zack and Cody's bodies touching in one form or another. Max was the first to break the silence.

"You know that Jasper-one of the boys who shot the kids-you know that he hanged himself?"

From Zack and Cody's stunned faces, she guessed that they hadn't known. "Yeah, they found him at his house, dangling from a banister." She shuddered at the mental image, and she wasn't the only one.

"Now they're both dead." Bob muttered, staring at a point just to the left of the television. "'Cause James killed himself a couple days ago." His companions nodded and Cody drew in a long, shuddering breath.

"I'm- I'm sorry. I can't feel sorry for them, I just can't." he was angry to find tears running down his cheeks. Hadn't he cried enough? "I know that it's wrong, but I can't feel bad about it!"

Max and Zack both put their arms around Cody, murmering soft words to him. Bob kept staring into space. "I don't think anyone would feel sorry for them." He said slowly. "They did an awful thing, a terrible, unforgivable thing. If anybody had a right to die, it's them!"

And then he burst into tears himself.

* * *

I know **exactly **how they feel. It's horrible to feel that way.

Okay, you know what to do.


	7. Black and Blue

**I own nothing**

Cody glanced at the calendar that hung on his bedroom wall. He had been dreading this day, even though he knew it would have to come eventually. He gave Zack a meaningful look and slid out of his chair, hearing his brother follow him almost immediately. Cody started to talk as soon as Zack was in the bedroom.

"We…we'd better get changed." His mother had bought the two of them some good pants and vests. Black, so that they'd be appropriate.

Zack nodded, and seemed to be on autopilot as he put on his clothes.

Today, twelve children would be buried. One of them would be twelve-year-old Jake. One of them would be six-year-old Cassie. The other ten would be the beautiful, amazing kids that hadn't gotten a chance to live.

Zack could only thank…who would he thank? Not God, certainly. God wouldn't have let those kids die. He wouldn't have taken Jake from his brother, or the kids from their parents. But he thanked whoever was out there that he wasn't one of the kids. He thanked whoever was out there ten times over that Cody wasn't one of the kids.

Zack turned when he heard Cody crying. His brother was standing in the middle of the room, dressed completely in black. The sobs took over his body, making it shake and causing him to wince in pain. Zack wanted more then anything to take away the pain.

A soft knock on the door made Cody instantly stop crying. Before their mother opened the door, his face was blank again, without any trace of tears. Both of the boys had become pros at doing that over the last couple of days. "We have to leave, guys." She said. Zack threw his arm over Cody's shoulders, which were still shaking somewhat, and the two of them left.

The memorial service was being held at the Church of St. Jude (the funerals had happened some days before) To Zack and Cody, it seemed as if the entire student body was there, and everyone was dressed in black.

Except one person.

Joe was coming towards them, using his crutches easily. He was clad entirely in blue. A clear sky blue that was immediately noticeable in the sea of black. Zack and Cody didn't question him about it, realizing he must have a good reason. He smiled at them, his black hands fumbling to fold his crutches so that he could stand normally. "Thanks for coming, guys. I could never do this alone."

Cody shook his head. "You're not alone. Nobody here is alone." Jake nodded, understanding Cody's cryptic message.

Max and Bob came had saved them seats in the third row. Max was crying; her face soaked with tears that dripped down onto her blouse. Bob's face was set in a determined look. The service started soon after.

Joe was the first one up. He looked around at the crowd and smiled a true smile. "My family moved here two weeks ago. My first day of school was the day that my brother got shot. And killed." He paused, hearing people shift uncomfortable in their seats.

"Jake's favorite color was blue, which is why I am wearing this. Ever since his death, whenever I look at the color blue, I think of Jake." Joe's voice was deep and rich. Powerfully rising over the crowd without a microphone's help.

"Jake never had a chance. He was shot twice, once it the stomach, once in the chest. He died instantly." Joe's voice was gentler now, but still as loud. "I know that only a handful of people here ever met Jake, so you'll excuse me if I tell you a little bit about him."

Joe took a deep breath and glanced in Zack and Cody's direction. Max gave him a thumbs up. "Jake was athletic, he loved basketball and was good at it. He was funny, a class clown type of person with lots of jokes. People were naturally attracted to him, because he was never afraid to speak up, no matter what the situation." Joe's voice trembled and almost died.

"Jake was a great person. He was my little brother. I miss him." Joe's speech ended simply, and he sat down. But his last words were still echoing around the courtyard.

_I miss him._

**Please review.**


	8. The Window

**I own nothing**

Zack was sitting in his bed, staring out the window to the inky blackness beyond, wondering what in the world they were doing. Cody was asleep next to him having climbed into Zack's bed after a nightmare. From the look on his face, Zack guessed that he was having another one. They had both been having a lot of nightmares lately.

He knew exactly what they were doing. They were hiding. They had avoided school for the past three days, even though it had already opened. Granted, the doctors at the hospital had said they should probably stay home for a little while longer, especially Cody, because they might pick up the flu virus that was going around.

But Zack didn't want to stay here. He didn't want to hide out. He wanted to go back to the school, to get on with life. Get over it. But he knew it wouldn't be that easy.

Both he and Cody had decided some time ago that they'd go back to school when Joe went back. They had been spending a lot of time with Joe, who was becoming a good friend. True to his word at the memorial service, Joe wore a little bit of blue everyday. He also carried around a small picture of him and Jake in his pocket.

Just yesterday, Joe had unexpectedly dropped by. He was soaking wet, having run all the way from his house through the rain. He told them that he'd be starting school the following Monday, which was only four days away.

Zack's body must have tensed while he was thinking because Cody woke up. "Go back to sleep." Zack muttered, not even looking around. Cody leaned against him, looking out the same window. "I don't want to sleep. The nightmares are horrible."

Zack nodded. They had both been having the same nightmare multiple times each night. It happened less often when they slept in the same bed, which is why they would night after night.

"We're going back to school soon." Zack said, still looking resolutely ahead. He felt Cody nod. The only people who really knew what they were going through were each other. Bob would never know, and neither would Max. Joe knew, but his experience would be three thousand times worse then the twins', having to go to school without his brother.

Cody threw his arm around Zack's waist so that they were even closer. It was cold in Boston in November, especially in the middle of the night. "We'll get through this. We always have."

Zack knew that Cody was right. He trusted Cody more then he trusted any other human being on the planet. He finally tore his eyes away from the window and looked at his brother, seeing the look of almost panic on his face.

"Yeah. Yeah, we'll get through this." Zack smiled at his brother, laying down on the bed and feeling Cody lay down next to him. And maybe they would be able to get through this. Maybe it was like getting back on a horse once you've fallen off, or getting back on a bike. It was just something you had to do.

And the twins had to do this. For Jake, for the kids that had died. For themselves.

**Hey, review.**


	9. Back to School

**I own nothing**

Cody didn't know he was shaking. It was only when Zack put his hand on his shoulder that Cody realized that his entire body was moving. Zack hugged Cody from behind, encircling his waist with his arms. Cody sank back into his brother, listening to the strong heartbeat. "What are we doing, Zack?" he muttered.

Zack started tickling Cody, causing him to first laugh with delight, then scream in pain. His lungs still couldn't take too much pressure. "You know why we're doing it, Little Buddy. First off, we're helping Joe. Second, we need to go to school." Zack released his brother, grinning at him lopsidedly.

Cody pushed Zack away and hit the button for the elevator. "Since when have you cared about school?"

Zack stepped into the elevator and pulled Cody in after him, whacking the LOBBY button. "For your information, I've liked school ever since we got locked up in that hospital."

"Really?" Both brothers exited the elevator, waving at Maddie who was already manning the candy counter. She gave them a thumbs up and watched them leave through the revolving door.

Not a block away from the Tipton, the brothers met up with Joe, who was wearing a blue shirt. His crutches were gone, but his limp was still obvious. He nodded at Zack and Cody, and the three of them started walking.

In the blocks to the school, they were joined by Max and Tapeworm. Bob, forgoing his usual route had met up with the twins' early on. The group smiled at each other, but said nothing.

About a block from the school, Max stepped in front of the boys, blocking their path. "Zack, Cody, and Joe. There's something you should know." She glanced at Bob and Tapeworm before continuing. "In the front of the building, they put this block ―"

"An obelisk." Bob whispered, and Max nodded.

"Yeah, and on this "obelisk" is the names of all the kids who got killed." Joe gulped but didn't say anything. "All the kids who got hurt," Zack and Cody looked at each other. "And Jasper and James."

Zack, Cody, and Joe all jumped. "Why? Why put their names on the same thing as my brother's?"

Max nodded understandingly, "Yeah, I know. It's just that the principal said that they got hurt during the shooting too."

"I can't believe that!" Zack looked almost as angry as Joe when he said that. Cody put his arm around Zack's waist, hurt when his brother tore away.

"Let's go." Tapeworm pulled Zack forward gently. Max took Joe, who still was ranting about Jake.

And together, they all rounded the corner, going through the school doors. And this time, no gunshots went off. Just as the door closed behind Zack and Cody, the sun came out for the first time in weeks.

**End. Review?**


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